Hedger Corp: Brandon’s Big Discovery

The saga of Hedger Corp, told in weekly installments. More here

When we last left off, Brandon had a big announcement for the group. He gathered everyone in the breakroom.

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Bursting with excitement, he told the crew that he had discovered a new “sharing-information-with-friends” website. It was called…

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Ted and Sue exchanged glances. They didn’t have the heart to tell Brandon that Facebook was not a quaint little website he stumbled upon, but rather a global juggernaut with more than 1.86 billion users.

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Sigh.

Brandon told the gang he wanted to start a “Let’s Do Facebook” club to “support this little site.” Derek, sensing a chance to get closer to his idol, became the first official member.

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The rest of the group reluctantly agreed. None of them were on Facebook yet, and they weren’t all that eager to do it. Actually, Ted was sort of on Facebook, but not really. We’ll get to that story later.

Everyone figured that being part of Brandon’s “Let’s Do Facebook” club was better than the alternative: Doing real work. 

Brandon and Derek created a sign for the new club, while the others tried to feign interest.
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Meanwhile, Bob was in a fight for his life.

The two leprechauns had been pursuing him all day, but he had temporarily eluded them. He took respite near the Weird Tree that Eats Things. His plan: Lure the leprechauns over to the tree, then hope that the tree ate them.

It wasn’t the greatest plan, but he was exhausted. It was the best he could do.

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In short order, however, Bob’s not-so-great plan revealed itself to be a flat-out BAD plan. The tree made a move to eat him.

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Back in the breakroom, the employees were working on their Facebook profiles.

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Ann was struggling to select just the right profile picture. She had several pictures, but couldn’t figure out which “tone” she wanted to set. Serious? Playful? Mysterious?

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Sue went with a picture from the 1980s, which she felt was one of her better eras.

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Derek also picked a more historical shot.

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Ted decided he was NOT going to build a Facebook profile for himself. Rather, he would create a Facebook Fan Page for his dog, Mr. Bojangles.

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As he watched the “Let’s Do Facebook” club in action, Brandon could barely contain his joy. Facebook was about to get five new members! Maybe he would get a letter of gratitude from the CEO himself!

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Elsewhere, Bob was feeling no joy.

After he escaped the tree, he stole a bath mat from a nearby restroom, then covered himself with it and crawled to the nearest cube.

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In a panicked whisper, he told Grandma Bernice about the leprechauns. How they appeared out of nowhere. How they were following him.

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He was going to describe them, but that became unnecessary.

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Bob fainted. Then Grandma Bernice invited the leprechauns into her cube.

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They had created something to show Bob, but since he was out cold, they decided to show it to Grandma Bernice instead.

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Grandma Bernice wasn’t sure how to interpret the piece of art. Did they want to be friends with Bob? Did they want to cut his hair? Did they want to murder him? It was unclear.

Right then and there, Grandma Bernice made a difficult and selfless decision. She knew how to get rid of the leprechauns… but it would mean a big sacrifice on her part. She told the leprechauns to wait while she fetched something for them.

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She returned with a huge item.

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It was a project she had been working on for 15 years. A self-help guide called “What Would a Unicorn Do?”

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She had been ready to market the idea, but that dream would die if she gave her project to the leprechauns. She paused and asked herself: What would a unicorn do? Would it pose on a windy cliff? Sure. But after that, it would probably try to save its co-worker from questionable leprechauns.

Grandma Bernice gave the leprechauns her Unicorn Spin-Wheel and made them promise to never return. The readily agreed. As Grandma Bernice suspected, the leprechauns loved unicorns.

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She wasn’t happy about giving up her dream. But she WAS glad to get back to her Space Invaders game.

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Later, Grandma Bernice loaded Bob into her walker and deposited him in the breakroom.

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The “Let’s Do Facebook” club was chugging along, and all seemed normal. But no one noticed that Ted was starting to freak out. With all this Facebook business, a secret from his past was coming back to haunt him…

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Next week: Ted’s secret! And Bob learns why the leprechauns were stalking him…

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